So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
