I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
