You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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