It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
