We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
