i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
