does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
