Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
