you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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