I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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