We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
