I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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