you would pick up someone in the library
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
