Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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