new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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