Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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