he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
