If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
NoShamevember. You game?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
