I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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