We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
