Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
