my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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