Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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