i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
