Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
