So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
