I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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