with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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