In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
