At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
