wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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