I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
