Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
