My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
