i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
