I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
