It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
