She said her name was "party"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
