well you can't waste a boner
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
