My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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