Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
