apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
