I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
