Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
