My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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