my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
