Sorry, I don't speak sober.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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