nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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