well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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