Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
