these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
