You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
