paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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