Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
