ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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